Cold, Cold, Cold Saturday

Good morning everyone. Happy New Year to all of you. In Amherstburg it is very cold and I have to go out to have one of my new slacks to be fixed. I'm trying to get everything set for for my cruise as you can see. Our new luggages have all of our names on them. I'm surprised how many of those name tags I made. After our third cruise where all of our name tags were ripped off and almost lost all our clothes, I now put so many on that it might make ripping them off would bore them. My daughter and son - in - law are taking us to the hotel to stay the day before we fly for Miami and coming back my cousin Dan will be picking us up after the cruise. My hands are so cold this morning. I better get this blog done quickly before I freeze.

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A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed. "If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel. "Go and get help!" he cried. "But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!" "Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself." Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!" The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's in too far."

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35,"he replied. "I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy. After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question. He replied, "Oh, you look about 29." "I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good. While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question. He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age." There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his hand up her skirt. After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47." Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?" The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

Little 6-year old John Smith’s parents felt really horny at 11 AM on Sunday and wanted to make love, but had to get John away for at least one hour. So they told him to go to the balcony and report all activities of their neighbours for the next hour. Being the innocent, dutiful son he was raised to be, he did as he was told.
His parents amused themselves, and then came the formality of the report at 12 PM.
John said “For the past hour, the Wilsons were watching TV, Mr. Cole was playing the piano, the Johnsons were playing carrom together and the Donalds were having sex.”
His parents were shocked! They asked him “How do you know that?” He said “Their son was out on the balcony too.”

Little 6-year old John Smith’s parents felt really horny at 11 AM on Sunday and wanted to make love, but had to get John away for at least one hour. So they told him to go to the balcony and report all activities of their neighbours for the next hour. Being the innocent, dutiful son he was raised to be, he did as he was told.
His parents amused themselves, and then came the formality of the report at 12 PM.
John said “For the past hour, the Wilsons were watching TV, Mr. Cole was playing the piano, the Johnsons were playing carrom together and the Donalds were having sex.”
His parents were shocked! They asked him “How do you know that?” He said “Their son was out on the balcony too.”

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That's it for now. My hands are getting very cold as of now. I hate winter. When I was young, winter was great, playing in the snow, skating on the ice and sledding down a snow hill. Today I fall just near any ice and snow and as far skating, are you kidding and the cold. I hate the cold. I want some warmth. In three weeks I will have some heat for 8 days. Hot damn, so about that. 

                                                                    " See Ya "

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 Cruisin Paul